Posts tagged grandma

My grandma’s wake was Wednesday and as soon as I saw her I broke down into an ugly crying mess. I had to go outside to find some sort of composure.  She looked beautiful in her blue dress. My grandpa tried to hold it together as best as he could but every so often, that tough old man couldn’t keep it in and he’d start to cry and that broke my heart even more. SO many people came. I’ve never seen prayer cards run out before but they did. She was very loved.

Thursday we went back to the funeral parlor and the immediate family said goodbye and went to the church for her Christian burial service.

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I’ve censored the following, in protest of a bill that gives any corporation and the US government the power to censor the internet—a bill that could pass THIS WEEK. To see the uncensored text, and to stop internet censorship, visit: AmericanCensorship.org.

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Uncensor this post and Stop American Censorship.

How the hell did this happen so fast? She was supposed to be around long enough for Evie to remember her. She was supposed to show Evie the greatness of thrift stores and how to act like the world was at her feet. She was supposed to teach her how to tell if a pie crust was handmade but not how to actually make it because we are supposed to be served the best, not know how to make it ourselves.

She was supposed to be around so Evie could see how strong she was. 

She was the strongest person I knew. She expected to be treated a certain way and she was. She taught me not to take shit from anyone. She made sure I was proud of how well I filled out a pair of jeans and what good dessert tasted like. She showed me it was not only possible but to be expected that a wife was separate from her husband, even after 50 years of marriage. 

She was independent and proud and full of life. 

And now she’s gone. 

And I started to cry and it upset Evie so much so I’m not going to cry until her naptime but I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait that long. 

I’m going to miss her. I’ve never had someone this close to me pass away. I don’t really know how to deal with it. I feel numb, which I’m just fine with right now.

Today my grandma was rushed to another hospital because she had to have emergency surgery on her legs to clear the blood clots that had formed. They ignored it for so long, despite my grandma, my mom and my aunt telling them there was something wrong with her legs that if they’d waited another couple of hours, she would have lost her legs.

The negligence going on at that hospital is beyond comprehension. It’s like they just wait for old people to die there. 

Not once has anyone come in to check out her eyes and how she can’t see. No one has been feeding her, in spite of all the complaining everyone has been doing. 

There’s more but I’m so livid, I can’t keep it all straight.

How could they let her legs get to that point?! When the doctor came in, he was pissed. Usually he said he waits 24 hours to do a surgery like that because you have to fast before it but he risked it because it was such an emergency. He couldn’t clear out the tips of her toes, so she might lose them but she’ll be able to walk even if she does lose them. He’s hoping that clearing out everything will cause those blood clots in her toes to work themselves out. 

I’m just furious. How can a hospital like this stay open?! She was in the goddamnn intensive care unit! How to they treat the people on the normal floors?!

in the hospital is ridiculous. Luckily, my mom has been on vacation for the past week but she’s afraid to go back to work because she’s sure my grandma is going to starve there. I swear no one there has even looked at her chart because she cannot feed herself and they just drop off the food, they didn’t respond to the emergency call button at all when my mom pressed it today, they leave her on a bedpan for hours, when the nurses do come in to change the sheets or pad she’s on, they tell her to look at the door or the wall and get aggravated when she doesn’t but she can’t fucking see! I mean, she can but her brain is garbling everything so she thinks she can see things but she can’t process it. 

St. Joeseph’s hospital on Harlem Road in Cheektowaga. Such a terrible hospital. 

I just finished telling Eric about all of this and he was so mad he actually called down there to complain but he had to leave a message. My aunt and mom have been recording everything in a notebook, which I’m glad about but they shouldn’t have to!

I don’t mean to bring everyone down with this post but I’m so frustrated. She was put in intensive care right in front of the nurses station so someone would always be able to see her and it’s like she doesn’t exist. On top of that, it’s not like it’s a busy hospital. I bet she’s one of maybe five people on the floor. 

RRRG!

Last night, around 5, we found out what was wrong with my grandma. This whole time I was assuming it was a reaction to the blood pressure medicine she was taking because it seemed like too much of a coincidence otherwise (and since I watch WAY too much House, I “know” there are no coincidences) but that’s exactly what it was, even if some of the side effects listed for the meds sounded a lot like what was happening to her and that they got better after she stopped taking them. 

She started getting better last night too. She can now remember things and I guess she can hold a conversation with you pretty much no problem. She was even yelling at my grandpa last night! She still couldn’t grab her teacup and her spacial awareness is still pretty bad but the fact that she had her wits about her made me feel so much better even before I knew what happened.

It turns out she had a small stroke and by the time my mom talked to the doctor, she was already out of the woods and he’s very confidant she’s going to go right back to normal!! My mom took her to the doctor at 9 this morning and she’s being put on some medicine to fix the little clots they found in her brain via MRI. 

It still seems weird that the medicine was a coincidence but as long as she gets better, I don’t care. She only lives down the street and I’ve been dying to go see her but she’s a very proud woman and she told my mom not to tell me she was even sick until she’s better. Before last night she was talking about dying so hearing that she’s so confident about getting better is fantastic. I’ve never seen her without her house immaculate and her hair done and she doesn’t ever want me to, so I haven’t gone to see her but it’s killing me not to. I know how bad it feels to feel self conscious and I don’t want to make her feel that way while she already feels sick but when I do finally see her, I’m going to hug her until she makes me let go. (We really don’t do hugs in my family, so she’ll probably make me let go pretty fast. lol)

My mom brought her an air horn for when she’s in bed, just in case my grandpa is sleeping so hard he can’t hear her, which is hysterical. He has a friggin pacemaker and my grandma is going to scare the shit out of him with an air horn?! It’s necessary though. He was taking a nap on the couch and he couldn’t hear her yelling for help on the floor of her bedroom yesterday. It’s a good thing my mom came by. They sleep in separate rooms too, so she needed something to get his attention. (I have no idea why they sleep in separate rooms. They love each other like crazy. Maybe one of them snores?)

Hearing that she’s going to get better is the best Christmas gift I could have asked for. 

My grandma is really sick. She’s always been sharp as a tack, making inappropriate jokes and yelling at my grandpa but in the last two weeks she’s gone from that to what seems like the end stages of dementia with spacial awareness problems. She can’t even pick up her cup of tea because she can’t find it on the table.

I don’t understand what’s going on and I’m scared. 

Two weeks ago she did start a new high blood pressure medicine and according to the frantic research I’ve been doing since last night, certain high blood pressure meds can cause reactions like this but since I don’t know what she’s on, I can’t be sure. My grandpa took her for an MRI last night and she’s since stopped taking the meds but he can’t take care of her (he’s in his mid-80s, and while also sharp as a tack, gets tired easily, especially when he has to help her walk) so my mom said she was going to try to get her admitted to the hospital today.

I just called her and there was no answer so I’m assuming she’s already gone, having taken her there.

I hope they figure out what’s going on and they can fix it. 

What breaks my heart is how she told my mom last night that Mrs. Barcy is calling her and she thinks she’s going to go to her. (For the new people, Mrs. Barcy died about 6 months ago.) 

She did recognize Evie in the picture my mom brought over though. :) She loves Evie so much… She’s her only great grandchild. She only has 4 grandchildren to begin with from two daughters, so she’s always been around. 

I can’t lose my grandma like this. 

Keep her in your thoughts today, ok? I’ll let you guys know what’s going on when I know…

Yesterday, Eric mom watched Evie for a little while and while she was watching her, I guess Marylou was telling Evie why she shouldn’t be wearing diapers anymore. (Yes, she still does. She’s the most stubborn thing in the entire world and everything I’ve ever heard has told me not to “push” her and that she’d do it on her own so I’m patiently waiting…)

Anyway, later on, Evie followed her into the bathroom and when she was pulling up everything, she noticed Marylou was wearing a pantyliner or something and she looked at her and said..

“Grandma! You wear diapers too!”

So.. yeah. I’m pretty sure Evie is going to be in diapers when she graduates from high school.