Posts tagged I'll miss you

My grandma’s wake was Wednesday and as soon as I saw her I broke down into an ugly crying mess. I had to go outside to find some sort of composure.  She looked beautiful in her blue dress. My grandpa tried to hold it together as best as he could but every so often, that tough old man couldn’t keep it in and he’d start to cry and that broke my heart even more. SO many people came. I’ve never seen prayer cards run out before but they did. She was very loved.

Thursday we went back to the funeral parlor and the immediate family said goodbye and went to the church for her Christian burial service.

Read more …

I’ve censored the following, in protest of a bill that gives any corporation and the US government the power to censor the internet—a bill that could pass THIS WEEK. To see the uncensored text, and to stop internet censorship, visit: AmericanCensorship.org.

███████’s ████ is █████ and I’m ██████ not ███████ ███████ to it, for ███████ ███████. ██████ her ████ out is █████ to ██████ the ████ ████ she’s ████ and I don’t ████ to ██████ “████” ████. I don’t ████ how ████ is █████ to ████ it ██████. I don’t █████ she’s old ██████ to ██████████ ██████████ but I’m █████ to ████ to ███████ ████ ███████ has ████ to █████ and she’s █████ ██████ up █████ and the ████ of █████ ████ is ████████████. I’ll ████ to ████ ████ to ask ████ to ███████ it as ████ he can to her… 

I ████ a ████ █████████ ███████ too. I ██████ a ████ █████ █████████ at ██████ and I don’t ████ if I ██████ ████ it █████ to the ████ or ████████ to the ████. ███████ it to the ████ █████ ████████ ████ ████ █████, █████? It’s █████ to be ████ at the ██████ █████ ██████ the ██████, a ███████ ████████ ██████ ████ ████ to ████ a ██████ ████████ (but now it’s █████).████ is █████ to be the █████ ████ ████’s ████ ████ to ██████ too. I ████ it isn’t a ████ ████. I don’t ████ her to get ████████. I █████ she’d be ████████ but an █████ ██████. ████’s ████ how she is. ██████ the ████ ████’re █████ to ████ a ███████ ███████ for █████████ ██████ to say ███████ and ████ ██████████ we ████ the █████████ to go to. ████ ███████ ███████ is █████ to ████ me. ████ ████████ █████ ██████ ███████ █████ me █████ ████ █████. ██████ ████ █████ and ██████ it? I ██████ not ████ ███████.

It’s █████ to be a ████ two ████.

████, you █████ ████ ███████ ████ ████ is ████████. If you’re ███████ ████ ████ you ████ ████ ████ ████████ to cut the ████ ████ the ████ and ████ ███████. █████ you for █████ ████. We ████ to ████ ████ now or we’ll ██████ it.

Uncensor this post and Stop American Censorship.

How the hell did this happen so fast? She was supposed to be around long enough for Evie to remember her. She was supposed to show Evie the greatness of thrift stores and how to act like the world was at her feet. She was supposed to teach her how to tell if a pie crust was handmade but not how to actually make it because we are supposed to be served the best, not know how to make it ourselves.

She was supposed to be around so Evie could see how strong she was. 

She was the strongest person I knew. She expected to be treated a certain way and she was. She taught me not to take shit from anyone. She made sure I was proud of how well I filled out a pair of jeans and what good dessert tasted like. She showed me it was not only possible but to be expected that a wife was separate from her husband, even after 50 years of marriage. 

She was independent and proud and full of life. 

And now she’s gone. 

And I started to cry and it upset Evie so much so I’m not going to cry until her naptime but I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait that long. 

I’m going to miss her. I’ve never had someone this close to me pass away. I don’t really know how to deal with it. I feel numb, which I’m just fine with right now.